This is a really really bad week.
My mind is about to explode with all these problems piling up.
How? :(

I really freaking tried my best. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this. Thought I would feel some sense of relief after exams ended, but now I feel like life was way more peachy before exams had even started. I just want to talk to somebody. But somehow I feel like everyone's been cut off from my life - whether I did it myself or the fact that they walked out. One or two is fine. But all the problems unleased at the same time is not fine at all. I'm afraid of losing you, my friend. And I will not know what is wrong unless you talk to me. I want things to go back to the way they used to be. I just want things to be simple, less melodramatic. Please?

CHECK THIS OUT - MOONWALKING WHILE ICESKATING!!!
YUNHO YOU DA BEST <3333333333333
And he has no experience in iceskating whatsoever. My fangirl mode is so back on. HAHAHA

Outing the day before with loads of food. Aglio Olio + Lychee Frosty for lunch, followed by Santouka for dinner. Pure indulgence seriously... Time for some exercise. Soon.

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Anyway, did I mention how much I'm hating my new hair colour?? Thought I would go for a change. Yet it turns out, I thought wrong. Sighhhhh. Seriously contemplating redying my hair back to my old colour next week or something. The sight of it irks me a lot. Was never a person who dealt with change easily. And never will. But at the very least, this is a problem that can be solved.

So anyway, yeah I made a mistake. Need help... How??? Everyone who sees me just says "Why did you dye your brown hair away?!!" Sigh, it's hideous and not me. It's like losing your own identity. I... don't know. Maybe I'm not just fussing over my hair. I think exams damaged me.

Anyway, do meet me this weekend, if you want to see how bad is my new colour. Before I dye it back (hopefully), or maybe perhaps after Cambodia. We'll see.

There's something about being 20. Something that says you have to be more independent emotionally and suddenly all your problems are trivialised as you start to see the larger picture. You watch, you learn, and suddenly you're all grown up. Looking back, you ask yourself what have you done wrong? Where did you screw up along the way? People make mistakes, and maybe I make more than others. Maybe that's what that is clouding my judgment. Afraid of making mistakes. Making the same mistakes. I may not always make the best decisions, but I sincerely hope I can make a decision whenever I ought to. 080108. Best and only decision I made in my life. But yet I can't talk about it. Something went wrong in the process and I cannot fix it. I need to fix it before I can move on with my life. Something I'll always keep chasing and chasing. Until I find my answer.

Give it up / Let it go.
How long will it last?
I will pull through this.

I am queen of awkwardness.

Mini Birthday Feast.
Dad asked me to rate it - I gave it a 3/5. It was really yummy but sorry dad, I think Sis' wagyu-beef-eat-until-you-laosai recommendation is definitely more suitable.
It's really a crime to not be able to stomach raw fish you know :/ But oh woes is my stomach.
And if my family happy - I happy. :D

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20 is a sensitive age. Not old, but sensitive. Yes, that would be the right word.
Now that my birthday is almost over, my angst is almost over too.
I've always felt that a 20th birthday constitutes much more importance than a 21st birthday. I would very much like to hold a 20th birthday party instead, if not for the fact that it would be frowned upon (given that there's no such tradition and people would deem it to be a frivolous and self-absorbed affair. Just because it's 20 and not 21.)
Oh and if not for the fact that my birthday this year coincides with exams - I spent my birthday today studying BizLaw. :(((((

4 more days.

I don't like birthdays. I really don't like birthdays. It's the time of the year when I get all upset and moody and whatever.
I don't like birthdays. I don't like birthdays. I don't like birthdays.
Especially this year's one.

9 Crimes

I think I'm spending an indecent amount of time concerning myself with the GE, considering that exams are around the corner and I'm the classic example of a typical apathetic Singaporean teen. Or rather, used to. I think it's some sort of a late (and perhaps last minute) political awakening for me. But hey, better late than never right? Am extremely impressed with some of the rallies and would love to be present there to soak in the atmosphere... but time is not kind, and i'm barely halfway ready for the academic battle next week. T.T

But regardless, I promise to be diligent and to finally do some of the things that my family has been nagging at me to do... just because I love seeing the proud smiles they have on their faces everytime I accomplish something. :)