No mood to pack, having this terrible unsettling feeling that i cannot shake off. Immensely stressed, I repeat to myself every single day not to compare, not to overthink. There's a path laid out for each and every one of us and I've just got to patiently wait for it. Or maybe I'm not working hard enough. Either way, it's nerve-wracking. Argh, am a wreck. Maybe it's the illness getting in my head.
Damn, hate that I'm so emotionally dependent on other people because I know it's gonna kill me one day. But it's so hard, can't you see?? I'm not as strong as my sister, not as determined as most of my friends, and definitely not the person everyone expects me to be. I tell myself to give it up, but always end up finding myself back in the original state.
Sometimes, I envy some of my friends so damn much. It's like they have this bubbly positive streak in them all the time. Spread the positive dust please!! I think, my negativity will get the best of me someday. Really sorry to some of my dearest friends whom I've accidentally lashed out to, gotten angry at for the slightest of things or bugged so far, I'm just not in the best state of mind these few days...
Life flat-lining so damn badly.
Where's my motivation, something to keep me going??
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